There are a lot of baby boomers in the workforce and many of them think they are victims of age discrimination.

Ironically, many of the boomers’ children and grandchildren also blame age discrimination and believe they are being overlooked because they are too young.

Some in both groups actually are victims of age discrimination.

The others are just…

…victims. Victims of victimhood. People quick to blame others and factors outside their control for anything that doesn’t please them. Age, for instance. They can’t control their age or how people think about their age. Thus, age discrimination is a handy excuse for any number of unsatisfactory situations. No job offer? Blame it on age discrimination. No promotion? Must be age discrimination. Interrupted or seemingly ignored in a meeting? Age discrimination. The case is clear, “it’s not my fault,” and “I’m being mistreated or undervalued only because of my age!”

Never mind that there are countless younger and older people taking on the world and surmounting obstacles such as difficult bosses every single day with great success!

OK, so maybe it’s not age discrimination. Maybe your problem is your clueless boss. Or your stupid company and its unfair systems. Or your incompetent co-workers.

No matter what the circumstances, victims of victimhood pin the blame elsewhere, making themselves victims of that person or situation. It’s not hard. You don’t even have to be creative. If you are looking for an excuse or object of blame, you don’t have to look very far. The dog ate your homework and the world is filled with millions of flawed people and flawed systems that undoubtedly impede your efforts!

But victimhood is a sad state. It is a state of hopelessness, helplessness, and anger. If you are always convinced someone else is to blame, you give up. You repeat the myth—age discrimination or impossible boss—convincing yourself it is completely true. There is nothing you can do. You are helpless. There is no hope. You are left with nothing but anger. When you subscribe to victimhood, you put your fate in the hands of others. You make yourself an unhappy, yet willing, victim.

What if it is age discrimination? Who cares? In 99% of the cases, there is nothing to be gained by considering that you might be a victim of age discrimination.

What matters is what you think is the cause of your condition! What matters is whether you have a propensity to blame others when you fail to meet expectations or when things don’t turn out as you would like. What matters is whether your default position is that bad things happen through no fault of your own. What matters is if you take no responsibility for your shortfalls.

Why? Because if someone else is always to blame, there is no reason for self-reflection. You have no reason to listen, learn, and try to improve. You will stagnate. You will also fulfill the prophecy of your own myth. New jobs, promotions, and respect will be forever out of reach.

If, instead, you acknowledge the existence of a disconnect, skip the blame, and dive in to figure out how to make things better, you will listen, learn, grow, and create a better future, all while earning the respect you deserve.