It is amazing that I always remember the name and author of this book I barely started decades ago. And since our memories tend to rewrite history, it is possible that the lesson I believe I learned, and that I always have ascribed to this book, has morphed into something entirely different from what I read.

• Doing something TO others is generally a bad idea.
• Doing something WITH others is more likely to lead to good things.

Examples:

• Do you walk into a room expecting to 'wow' people without knowing who is there and whether they came to be 'wowed'?
• Do you assume you have the solution to a problem before you have talked with those affected by the problem?
• Do you do all the talking when trying to help others?
• Do you give advice without knowing whether advice is welcome or needed?

It is simply disrespectful and illogical to think you can work with other people without working WITH them!

But if you come to listen and to share the value you have to offer, you may find a way to contribute. This is a principle that guides my life and my business. Some day, maybe I'll go back and finish that book: The Only Dance There Is by Ram Dass

Feeling scattered? Overwhelmed? Tired of running in high gear and not even sure it is the right direction? Here is a quick method for regrouping and revisiting your To-Do list.

Make a list of the things that are BOTHERING you. Big things and little things. Don’t think much, just write them down quickly. Make your concerns visible.

Once finished, spend a little time with this mix of worries, tasks, plans, problems and objectives. What is this list really telling you? Try to clarify each concern by asking:

• What is really bothering you?
• Do you see barriers to doing what you think you ought to be doing?
• Are there worries that you either can't fix or don't really need to fix?
• Which concerns are related?
• Are some the cause of others?
• What problems need to be solved?
• What decisions need to be made?
• Where do you need more information whether through research, outside assistance, better definition or more detailed planning?
• What exactly has to be done?

With a little practice, the insights from this mix of items will help you quickly rethink the content of your To-Do list. You may be able to eliminate tasks, shift your focus, zero in more clearly, and identify help or information you need.

Wisdom is the reward you get from a lifetime of listening when you'd rather have been talking.

Aristotle

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Ann Latham