How to Conquer Fear

You don’t need scientific studies to tell you that fear cripples. It impedes our ability to think clearly, to commit wholeheartedly, and to act promptly. Thus, the ability to conquer fear is a tremendous differentiator. Without that ability, you will endure unnecessary waffling, anxiety, delays, and lost opportunities. You are also far less likely to stand out in a crowd.

The good news is that conquering fear is quite simple. It starts with identifying, quite specifically, the source of the fear. Unfamiliar, emotional, important, and/or complex situations often generate fear. That fear, however, is usually very general. You can’t protect yourself from general fears, nor expect to make decisions or take action without understanding why you are hesitant. You must get specific. 

Before I sent my May newsletter talking about the death of my parents, several people told me not to do it. When I asked why, when I asked repeatedly for specific examples of what they thought could go wrong, the answers echoed nothing more than vague fear. It makes sense that the telling of such a highly charged story would trigger caution. That isn’t the problem. The problem occurs when general and instinctive caution becomes a road block to action. In the case of telling my story, I decided it offered significant value with minimal downside. Talking about sensitive subjects may generate discomfort for some, but avoiding discomfort is not the road to clarity, understanding, and growth.

In a totally different type of example, I have a client who is at the stage of a project that generates considerable concern because significant change is involved, but the total scope and impact of those changes have not yet been established and digested. Vague fears reign. The solution is to examine the pending changes to determine what could go wrong. Replace general fear with a specific set of concerns. Once specific, preventive and contingent actions can be developed.

Suppressing your fears can be as disastrous as letting them paralyze you. When you are fearful, dig down and find the source. There is likely a good reason. Things do go wrong, sometimes monumentally wrong. It always pays to ask what could go wrong and to deal with those concerns that are most likely and most serious. The others, the unlikely and/or unimportant, can then be dismissed with ease.

Thus, to conquer fear, follow these four steps:

  1. Identify your specific concern
  2. Determine the seriousness of it becoming a reality
  3. Determine the likelihood of it becoming a reality
  4. If sufficiently likely and/or serious, determine how you can reduce the probability and to minimize the damage should your fear come to pass despite your efforts to avoid it

Prudent risk-taking is essential, but difficult without this level of clarity.

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